HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW? You cannot neglect a relationship and expect it to grow. That’s not to say that all relationships are the same and need the same amount of time and attention. The nature and purpose of the relationship will determine the energy and time needed to cultivate it. Think about some of the many personal and professional relationships you have in your life. How much effort do you give them? Do you treat them the same? Of course not. And you shouldn’t. Every relationship is different but can fit into one of three categories:
Some People Come into Our Lives for a Reason
Many relationships are very short and occur for very specific reasons. Sometimes they come and then go away forever. Other times they are ongoing but intermittent. These relationships need only brief, periodic cultivation.
List a few people who came into your life for a reason, and beside their name list how they helped you.
Some People Come into Our Lives for a Season
A second type of relationship lasts only for a period of time. These relationships may last only a few weeks or as long as several years. Many times they are related to our current circumstances or situations. But just because they are temporary doesn’t mean they’re not important. The cultivation of the relationships should just match the season. Relationships with our children’s teachers and coaches are often seasonal. So are many work relationships. Perhaps you work for a boss you enjoy, but the work is the only
Some People Come into Our Lives for a Lifetime
The third kind of relationship is ongoing and permanent. These are few and very special. And if we want to keep them healthy and encourage them to grow, we must give them continual cultivation. Otherwise they are likely to shrivel and die. Our closest friendships are most valuable to us, and like anything of value, they cost us something. We cannot neglect them and expect them to thrive.
Just like in this memoir, “Tuesdays With Morrie.” The author, Mitch Albom, writes about all the lessons he received from his college professor, Morrie Schwartz, who was suffering from a life-threatening disease.
Mitch focused on how Morrie helped him understand some of the most complex problems of life. As Morrie had told him in the book, “Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me..” And he did. The author learned a lot of things from his Tuesday visits with Morrie.
Here are the most valuable lessons that we learned from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Apply it you haw you cultivate relationships
Forgive Not Only Others But Also Yourself
“We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.”
Most of us find it hard to forgive others, but what we don’t know is that it’s even harder to forgive ourselves. We tend to hold grudges in life, and somehow, it is the reason why we can’t entirely be happy.
In the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”, Morrie taught the author the practice of forgiveness. Not only to others but as well as to himself. We may regret the things we did in the past, but not everything is within our control. Not letting go about it won’t change anything, but a better outlook for the future might.
Live Your Life As If It Is Your Last Day
“Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I the person I want to be?’”
Most of the time, we take our chances for granted – the opportunity to spend time with our family, to help other people, and the chance to do what we love.
It’s because most of us think that we always have more time to do the right thing. But the truth is we never know when would be the last time for us to say goodbye.
Morrie said, “Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it.”
Although some of us don’t like to think about it, we all know that our hearts will stop beating, eventually. So we should give our best and not wait for a special time to express our love to everyone. The right time is always now.
Stop Chasing The Wrong Things
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others. Devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Most people are blinded by money and fame, so they often chase the wrong things. They tend to disregard their family and friends because they thought that it’s the material things that could keep them satisfied.
But for us to find meaning and joy in our life, we should learn to love not only ourselves but the other people as well. Being a part of your community can bring happiness and satisfaction that no amount of money can give you.
Do Things Whole-heartedly Without Expecting Something In Return
“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied. You won’t be envious, and you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.”
The reason why some people feel incomplete and unhappy is that they think only for themselves. Morrie taught us that selflessness and genuinely helping others brings us satisfaction and happiness.
The Only Thing That Dies Is Our Body, Not The Relationship We Have With Others
“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of the love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on – in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”
When we die, it’s the body that is only going away, not the relationship we had from our family, friends, and our community. We will be remembered on how we were to them when we were still alive. So the people that we’ve helped, however small it is, we’ll surely leave an unforgettable space in their hearts.
Be Compassionate and Help Others
“Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world. And to care about that family the way we care about our own.”
Some people believe that we are all different from each other; that’s why we don’t treat everyone the way we should. We might be unique, but we need to accept people who are different from ourselves. For Morrie, we are always stronger together than if we are divided.
He also said, “Be compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place.”
One of the final lessons that Morrie taught to Mitch is to be compassionate and help others. Morrie believed that our world would be a better place if we do whatever we can to help someone and look out for each other.
There are a lot of things that Morrie has taught us about this book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. But what he really wants us to learn is to realize what is important to us, and that spreading compassion and love to the world are the only things that can truly make us happy.